How do I feel about thee, thesis mine?

In honor of Flying Fork Day, I've written an English sonnet* for the (____) of my life, Orlando.

Enjoy.

Or not.

And so forth.

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How Do I Feel About Thee, Thesis Mine?

How do I feel about thee, thesis mine?
(To speak my truest feelings were not meet.)
Oh let me see that Times New Roman line--
I feel a thrill to see thy serifed feet.
Thy prose doth make me blush to rhyme;
To speak upon thy title, 'twould be sin;
Thy use of commas is perforce sublime,
As if to pardon all contained within.
The books that buttress thee 'gainst harm
Hath grown so tall they block the morning light.
Dear Shakespeare knoweth not thy greatest charm,
For having known thy kind, he died of fright.
Orlando, thou deserv'st no less than this:
To see me smile, then shred thee in pure bliss.

*Inspired by PhD Comics.