Monday, May 12, 2008

Moving out and moving on

When many students move to college, they experience something we call "homesickness." Maybe they have never been away from home before; maybe they miss having someone take care of them. Perhaps they miss friends and family; perhaps they miss being at the top of the totem pole instead of at the bottom.

Being homesick the first few weeks at college is accepted, even expected. But what happens when you graduate from college?

All of your belongings are piled into a vehicle. Reams of paper are waiting in the recycling bin. Mounds of dirty laundry rest on top of desk lamps, computer cords, and a small rectancular piece of paper that says your college years have not been wasted.

It's time to drive away. For me, that time came last night about 9 o'clock. I was packed; I had checked out of my room; I had said farewell to friends and fellow graduates. As I pulled onto the interstate, a wave of something much like homesickness swept over me.

All I could think about were the empty windows of my college housing, the expanses of grass where we had snowball fights and lolled about in the spring sunshine, the labs where I worked until 5 a.m. finishing that last paper, the stage where I discovered a new passion, and the many faculty members and students who touched my life.

I am "homesick" for college in a very real way. I think it's natural to feel this way. I've spent four years of my life with these people, in this place. They are family to me, and it is home.

So now I have to ask myself the questions college freshman often ask: How do I move on from here? How do I keep the memories alive without dwelling in the past and missing out on the present? These are difficult questions that not even the many miles of dark, winding interstate are sufficient to answer.

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